The "L.A." looks like Helvetica

Modified lowercase "t"

Arial is a pretty good alternative that comes with all computers so you can try that!

This is the best result that WhatTheFont showed. It's definitly not exact.

It's a paid font so you can't get a free download but, if you have a Mac computer it comes preloaded as a font.

This is for the "YOURE NOT FAT"

It looks a lot like American Typewriter to me. Also, it probably has an eroded effect or something to it.

Almost an exact match...

I'm not sure if this is exact but it was the best one that I could find.

You can try some alternatives though, Century Gothic looks a lot like Futura. Or, try this one:
http://www.dafont.com/geo-sans-light.font

I don't know how to do that. Sorry.

It is a paid font so you can't download it for free legally. But if you're on a Mac it ships with your computer.